“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me. – Psalm 13:1-6 NIV
How long, Oh Lord! This sounds familiar, isn’t it? I know for most of us may have asked the same question to God one time or another, because we all have experienced some degree of pain, grief, and injustices in life. This chapter of the Psalm is an amazing communication from David to God. It started with a feeling of desperation, the very heart of David. He was so honest to convey his issues with God.
Psalm 13 is one of my favorite chapters especially when I feel troubled and alone. I even listen to Brian Doerkens’ “Psalm 13 (How Long Oh Lord)” to remind myself on how to respond to such a situation.
I want to share my experience in the past on how God has delivered me through this chapter of Psalm. It was 1995 when I lost a job and an opportunity to work in the USA. Everyone told me it was okay and I could find another job, but it did not happen to me. I resigned while facilitating my papers in the US Embassy, which was rejected because of the agency’s legal issues. I tried to re-apply in my previous job, but the position was given to a new graduate. I found myself among the list of unemployed nurses seeking local or overseas employment. It was the same year my mother got ill, and I have to look after her physical and medical needs. At the same time, I took over our small general merchandise store (sari-sari store). I witnessed how my mom’s condition got worse year after year until the family can no longer afford her treatment and medical needs. We even sold some of our properties to sustain.
After nine years of struggle for life, my mother gave up her breath. There is nothing more painful than seeing a loved one breathe her last breath. I felt beaten down that day. No amount of counsel could comfort and enlighten me. I cried out to God when will my situation change. For months and years, I underwent several cycles of grief.
It was when I read the whole chapter of Psalm 13 that I finally understand to trust God in those painful situations. David expressed his determination to trust in God’s steadfast love (Psalm 13:5). David reminded me to rejoice in God’s salvation even amid challenging situations. There is a reason to rejoice in the Lord always, for He has a purpose and plan for everything happening in our life.
During my mother’s wake, I received a notice for an interview in the Saudi Recruitment Office (SRO). That night, I felt my mother’s embrace. Now, I’m on my 12th year here in Oman working in one of the prestigious hospitals of the country and a member of OECC. I may not fully know His will in my life, but I believe I will be walking a satisfying life as long as I will remain in Him. God is so good, indeed. He will never forsake me. Psalm 13:6 says, “I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.” He is worthy of praise! God is good all the time!
